First Published on 04/29/2015
McDonald’s has been taking charge. Profits are down and they want to go back up the ladder of success. Menu changes, higher worker wages for fewer employees, and faster, simpler customer interface are being discussed.
McDonald’s needs a good solid simple American hamburger. They need to simplify their ordering stations and turn them around, so patrons can choose and punch buttons for cheese, lettuce, tomato (a single big slice), onion (a single big slice) bacon and maybe mushrooms. Sloppy sauces can be eliminated entirely as far as I’m concerned or perhaps give them a button too for those folks who like wearing lunch down their shirt front.
Sandwiches “to go” should come inserted in a box, much like present day large french fry cartons. Perforate the corners part way down so sides can be peeled away from burger, fish, fowl or sausage as you eat leaving a short cup in the bottom to catch sloppy goop overflow and crumbs. Same box would work fine for eating “here” for those folks who’ve been working and haven’t taken time to scrub up good before ordering. “In a box” might be another button to select.
Fries need to go into cups such as drinks go into now. Cups that fit in cup holders. No need to grip box with one hand while you finger fries out separately with the other.
While I’m talking fries, consider going back to what I remember as original fryer grease. This healthy stuff they switched off to under some misguided food activist’s pressure just left really-good- menu-leading-McDonald’s-Fries behind. It’s been years since I’ve heard anybody excited about going to McDonald’s for an order of french fries and I used to hear that often.
McNuggets “too go” should be in a box similar to that presently used, but with some sort of light, non-transferring adhesive on the bottom. Adhesive, so the box will stay where you put it, on seat or arm rest beside you, on a flat topped dash or on a tray or table so little people aren’t so likely to drag their whole meal into their laps. Sauces for McNuggets might have same adhesive on bottoms of their little cups to hold them in place on opened box’s lid.
So, thus far I’ve obviously been knocking on the door of distracted driving laws. If I’m not mistaken, same law that forbids talking on cell phones and primping in sun visor mirrors while driving also makes eating while driving an actionable offense. In other words, P.I.T.A. (Pain In The Ass) do gooders are a leading cause of inconvenience in working American’s lives.
I’ve eaten McDonald’s food for a lot of years. Most of it I’ve eaten on the road while driving. Only times I’ve come close to having problems with distraction, have been when my sandwich was falling apart, gushy sauce was slipping down my shirt front, french fries were scattering on the floor mate or McNuggets were rolling around and slipping through the crack between passenger seat and its back.
All the food I’m talking about here is one handed food. Eating two handed food is distracting, I’ll admit. Part of McDonald’s challenge should be one handed convenience. Make it easy for working folks to grab some tasty calories on the go quickly for a reasonable price. Go back to the pre-P.I.T.A simple life that helped make America great.
And if a policeman has to put down his cell phone long enough to pull you over and issue a citation for eating a Sausage Biscuit with Egg, you’ve done your citizenly duty in law enforcement reform through interruption of distracted driving.